This girl is movin' down South!

It has been a L-O-N-G time since I blogged and A L-O-T has happened.

In a nutshell I have gone from the girl waiting on a plan, to a girl with a plan (well sort of plan,). It has become very common that when I say I have a plan, people in my life begin to laugh and then wait patiently as I explain whatever extravagant plan has been created in my head. But this plan is not just my crazy idea, and I have a crap-ton of confidence that God is going to surprise me around every corner!

I am moving to North Carolina this summer. I will be a 1^st grade teacher.

Charlotte, North Carolina. Who saw this one coming? I mean really. Through the crazy two-week (yes, two-week) process, God showed me a faithfulness that I have never experienced before. He threw strangers into my life that encouraged the gifts I have, share the dreams I anticipate, and celebrated my accomplishments with me.  I think I am going to interview full time. When they go well, man talk about a confidence boost!

I have a huge reason to celebrate. I am celebrating! I am singing with joy and am filled with excitement about the future God has provided for me.

But (yes I know, the depressing but.), my heart was torn this week.

Tonight, we had one of the two elementary “End-of the Year Programs”. My kids perform tomorrow, lots of prayers are needed please! J

Tonight, my director was getting ready to announce which teachers would not be coming back next school year.  As I headed up to take my place on the stage, I made eye-contact with one of my students. This girl is one of the coolest kids I have ever had the privilege of being around. She is bright and confident and so outrageously creative I wish I could bottle it up and share it with other kids and adults.  The girl has my heart. She started to cry when she saw me. To say my heart broke is an understatement. After praying, I went down and knelt with her on the floor. Holding her tightly in my arms, starting to cry with her. Her mom came over and also joined in the cry fest. I kept thinking, how am I supposed to leave her? How am I supposed to say goodbye? Tomorrow is her last day at school; to say I will be a hott mess is an understatement. I am not excited about that part of tomorrow. But, I am trusting that God will take care of her. That He will bring incredible people in her life to shape and encourage and love her for who she is. Please pray for her with me.

I also am feeling that same heartache with people who have become my family here. I am going to have to say goodbye to girls who have become more then sisters to me. Girls, who I have fought with, cried, with,  laughed with, adventured with and lived awesome life together with.  People I am leaving behind, and yet am so hopeful will be a part of my life for a long time. Man that sucks. If I have ever experienced anything bittersweet, this time would be it!

So, I need your help. Please pray for this transition. Please pray that as I say goodbye to students, teachers, and family that I will also be able to celebrate the joy and the promise of what is next.

Please pray for my move to the south (still makes me giggle). A lot of things are still pending such as an apartment, church, community. You know, easy things. Pray that they will be revealed when need be and I do not get caught up in the process, but am able to celebrate the good things!

Please pray for financial resources. Surprise, surprise, starting over in the States is not cheap. If you would like to continue to support me financially you can do so through NICS until August 31^st.  Any donations after that date will be returned and not processed. If you would like to donate in another way please let me know.

Thank you for your support in my crazy dreams and adventures!

Love,

Sara

Do warthogs really have warts?

We have started Poetry in 4^th grade, and I could not be more excited. I have been anxiously awaiting this unit; I have been prepped for weeks waiting for the time to come. This makes me seem like such a nerd, but I don’t care! I love poetry; there is no pressure for rules. Kids get to explore a different side of writing, a more ridiculous and imaginative side of writing. AND I don’t have to be the crazy punctuation lady! Woo Hoo!

Part of our poetry unit included creating a “Wonder Wall”. Our wonder wall is full of different types of questions and wonderings. Our wall is full of wonderings about school, friends, God, animals, and even time travel.

Some of our wonderings:

“ Who created pizza?”

“Why can’t we see God?”

“Why can’t we control electricity with our hands?”

“Why can’t we talk to animals?”

“Why can’t characters come to life?”

and my personal favorite that started them all...

“Do warthogs really have warts?”

As we write and wonder, I challenged the kids to find a friend’s wondering and write about it, more specifically write the answer you think should go there. (They think I am nuts, but what else is new.) However, I have found that they are way more excited to ask the questions then to find or create the answers.  They love building questions off of one another, but when I offer to help find answers they simply decline. Unless it is about Futbol, then they are all game.

Yesterday, I saw another example of this lack of desire for answers. I handed them a sheet of ridiculous questions. Questions that I found in a book to stir their imagination, to challenge their thinking. Questions like: What are the names of your fingers and toes? What are things you like to count? What are things that are uncountable? My favorite one that stumped them: If you planted your heart, what would grow? What color shoes would it wear? These questions have no right or wrong answers. And in all honestly the literal ones don’t fit quite as well as the ridiculous ones. They have to be creative. They have to push themselves out of their comfort zones. They have to be willing to really think, and yet not think at all.

Once again, they looked at me like I was insane.

At one point yesterday, I said to the entire class, “If you need help with writing, come to the rug”. 8 kids came. The ones that did were not surprising.  As they looked at me and asked for help, I asked them if they had even read the questions. A lot of them had not. We worked through it for the last 15 minutes of class and I was impressed with some for trying and others just wrote the very literal answers that they could not see past. I was not surprised or disappointed.

At the end of the day, as I was reading their answers and cleaning up I couldn’t help but think about the whole process of asking questions and if it was really that different as an adult. Are we able to answer the hard/strange questions? Or are we just good at asking them? Or are we even good at that?

The day before, my friend and I were talking about hard life questions, their answers and the days we first really told one another about our past. For me, it was like three days into living in La Paz ha-ha. I remember sitting in the kitchen crying with my roommates I barely new and telling them about the good things, the hard things, and everything in between. I cannot honestly remember why I told them then, or why it even came up, but I did and I have no regrets.

We talked more about how that night changed our friendship. The night I was real and answered the hard questions about life was also the night she felt like the door to sharing her life was opened. She did not share that night, but it was soon after.

Ever since that night in the kitchen we have been asking and answering hard questions about each other. These often lead to even harder things, but I have never been upset about it. It is beautiful. Seeing a person’s hard past and also best memories are what create genuine friendship. Sharing those questions, and even more important answers, with people we love and trust is what bring us together in real community. Having people that listen and ask questions when we need them too are the people who really show me who Christ is.

This week I was also told by people that I love that I had been encouraging them. I had no idea. I want to do this, I try to do this with notes, actions, and hugs, but that is not what they pointed out. One said I encouraged her because of something I said at dinner one night, sure enough a question I had. I honestly can’t even remember the whole conversation. And the other friend said it was because I was real with what I was feeling that week (mostly upset and frustrated) and that made them feel like it was okay for them to be feeling that way. That blew my mind. Knowing that God could be using my own freak-outs, and just who I am to help others.  I had been so worried this week that I had been too outspoken and dramatic and feeling WAY too much, but He still reminded me that it is okay to be me. That He and others will still love me even when I am not even close to put-together. I think that is pretty cool.

So now I have two goals.

1.     To continue to know what is really happening, to not only know about peoples past, but to know about their present. To love them in the place they are because asking and wondering show that you care. Because that is what makes us real and not robots (even though one of my students would love to be a robot). And honestly, is what causes us to get better and often ask ourselves the same questions. Questioning, and more important listening, is what keep us together. It is what helps people do life, real life, together.

2.     My second goal is to remind myself to do the same with God. As cheesy as it sounds, I sometimes loose myself in trying to figure out how to live life “right” for him, without actually knowing Him. I forget I can ask him the hard questions. I forget that he will give me the hard answers whether I like it or not. 

Questions, good questions and wonderings, are what come from your heart. Sometimes you don’t even know they are there. Sometimes it takes a poster and a basket full of sticky notes to find them deep inside. It goes back to that saying “There are not stupid questions”. As a teacher, in all honesty I sometimes look/ listen to the questions my students ask and wonder, “Where the heck did that come from?” or “Seriously friend, I JUST told you that!” but at least they are asking, even if it will cause me to go bald.

I hope you have a wonderful Saturday and can get to know someone you love even more by asking them a question and listening to the answer J.

Love,

Sara

Miss, love is gross!

Along with everyone else we just celebrated Valentine's Day here in 4th grade! Even though the Bolivians have their own "day of love" later in the year, when you have Ms.W as you teacher you better believe that we will be celebrating!

Valentines day has always been special to me and my beautiful mom is the reason. Every year we would wake up to find presents on our bed, put on our new valentines themed shirt and head of to school with our glittered valentines in tow. As I got older cranky people started to ruin it. People if you are reading this and you are one of them, get over it! This is a day to eat pink cupcakes and hug people you love the most and maybe even the ones that drive you a little bit crazy!

We had a full day of activities which included conversation hearts (I was able to find them over Christmas vacation, I have gotten really good at planning ahead!), sweet notes to encourage each one of our friends, and then some much needed recess to run off all of the sugar that was consumed!

She was a little freaked out that it said "Kiss Me" 

Some Valentines Math! 

This year I am learning more about what a fun age 4th graders are at.  They are not all the way gone into the stinky land of hormones but they are definitely getting sassy. They are not sure what to believe, what they want to admit out loud in front of friends, and are beginning to ask the hard questions. I think I might be a 4th grader at heart. 

It was my turn to teach chapel this Friday and I told the "love story" of Isaac and Rebekah. While the 5th graders were freaking out about love and how it is "sooooo gross!", the 2nd and 3rd grade classes were questioning the strange behavior of the 5th graders, and my sweet 4th graders were not sure what to think. Later, we talked about it and I got a lot of embarrassed glances, hesitant questions about the purpose of Valentines Day, but mostly a lot of quiet friends who were not quite sure what to think. With their responses it made me really question why we celebrate and what love really is. 

There are so many different things to consider when talking about giving and receiving love. The last few months I have been really wrestling with what love really is. What does it mean to have friends love you well? What does it mean to have family love you well? What does it mean to fully understand the love of God? And and even bigger question, what does it mean to give that love back  to others? 

I have been having lots of conversations and reading a lot of books that have been connecting this idea of love and struggle. The idea of giving everything you have to serve and love our God. When people disappoint you how are you going to respond to them? How will you handle the relationships and pain that may have been caused? How will we be able to see the love of God in every situation we may be in? How do we show grace? How do we find that group of people to love and love back?

This morning as I was reading in Zechariah and the beginning of the Psalms, I think it hit me. We do the same thing to God. Throughout the Old Testament He gave exactly what the Israelites needed and he told them exactly what to do to, how to show their love back and they still couldn't do it. Instead of apologizing, they questioned how God was loving them. Can you imagine? Being God and having people tell you that you basically suck? I know it is hurtful to me when people do not respond the way I wish they would and even the disappointment of not meeting my own expectations but I can't even imagine what it is like to know you did things perfectly and people still doubt you. I guess I have known this truth for a while but today it broke my heart. Today my heart felt the pain of my friends, the frustration in myself, but most importantly I got a closer look into God's character.

The more I kept reading the more I kept thinking there has to be more. I can't just see the hurt, I have to be missing something. Something bigger, and even better. Then I started to see it, even though the Israelites were not loving God in the way he deserved or the simple ways He wanted them to He still continued to forgive them. Yes, he would create destruction and there were consequences to their actions but he didn't wipe them out. He didn't destroy the evil that the world had become. He didn't throw his hands up and say forget it, I will make something better. He fought for his people. He put up with their crap and He gave them everything even while knowing they were going to turn their backs on him agin. He didn't give up. That is what grace is. That is what compassion looks like. Pouring out everything you have without expectation. Simply out of love. I don't know about you, but that is who I want to be. I want to be someone who can love others so well that we are to get a glimpse of what it means to be loved by God. Trusting through it all that it is enough. I am not sure how to get there but that is my prayer. I have hope in that promise. 

My head has also been stuck in Galatians 6:18

"and let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up. So then as we have opportunity let us do good to everyone and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

This Valentines day was hard. I missed waking up to a present that was picked out with love especially for me. I missed being around those who have loved me through it all. I missed being around those people who show me how much they love me by simply listening and responding. Not because they have to but because they know me, they know what I need. Then I was pleasantly surprised.

My sweet stubborn friend.  

                                                      My friend brought me a flower.

It got a little wilty during the day :( 

This friend creates a new challenge almost every day. He is pushing me as a teacher. He drives me a little crazy every day and he knows it. But I still love him. On Friday, he showed me grace. He showed me how much a small action can do for someone. I don't imagine he thought about how much this flower would brighten my day, but it did. I don't think he thought it we be used to show others how kind he is, but it did.  I didn't have to tell him how to love me, he figured it out. He showed me God's love. He reminded me of what not giving up on doing good means. I am so thankful for this friend. I am thankful to be in 4th grade. I am most thankful for small glimpses into God's love, even if it has to come with a little heartache.

Miss Wycinsky...The Diver.

This has been an interesting week for sure! We did not have school on Monday because of transportaion strikes, school on Tuesday and then no school on Wednesday because it was "the day of the president" holiday. So, back we went today with heads feeling like Monday, by lunch it felt like Wednesday and after my students professed about forgetting how to write....it felt like Friday! A whole week!

The mood and behavior of students (and teachers) was a little different, somewhere in-between a much interrupted sleep schedule and slowing falling back into vacation mode. With the children forgetting how to do school (really man...it has been two days) and the afternoon rainstorms, school was something else. But the things they were saying were making me laugh pretty hard the last couple days. And now you lucky ducks get to hear all about it!

On Tuesday, the wonderful 1st grade teacher came up to me waving a children's dictionary around. Okay maybe not waving, but it makes it better. She then proceeded to tell me one of her students was quietly reading his dictionary (naturally) and started saying "Miss Wycinsky, Miss Wycinsky!". Who knew I could be so popular! She then asked him if he was calling her Miss Wycinsky? He said no and then continued to tell her that I was in the book! She went over, looked in the book and saw this.....

Of course!

 Look at that form, I should be flattered! 

Next Summer Olympics? I think so! 

But really man? 

A diver? 

Haha good thing he is one of my favorite first graders! 

Then later that day we were in Bible class. We have been talking about truth and why it is important to tell the truth and not lie. It was brought up that teachers and parents ALWAYS know when you are lying. Let's just say I did not over correct that bad boy. So, we were sitting at our desks discussing the story of Adam and Eve when a theological debate started spewing out of my 10 year olds mouths. Some of the questions: "What would it be like if they were not dumb and did not sin?" From the mouths of babes. "Why did God say you will surely die? Why didn't he just tell them they would be naked?" Let the giggles begin. I was trying to answer questions honestly all while trying to get us back on the original track. Some kids were asking if the debating children could just talk about this at recess. Nice. Then out of the blue one of my quite students raises their hand and asks " But what about the DINOSAURS?!" It was gone after that. There was nothing else to do, the train was all the way off track heading towards the stone age. Dinosaurs, Devils, Angles, and Dumb Humans who sinned. Bible did not go as planned. But I guess it was fun to see some of them get SO excited! I am afraid to look at next weeks curriculum. 

Then today (because without kids Wednesday was naturally filled with so much productivity. I mean if you just loose some of those letters it is true -TV!) we were writing when one of my kids looks over and asks me " Miss, how do you spell Chao in English? I responded "Honey just spell it in Spanish, it will make more sense". Apparently that was not good enough. Then another child chimed in, "I think you spell it B-Y something..." With the help of a third friend, " I KNOW! It is B-Y-E". "Yes, that is it!" Really. Bye? That is the word you could not think of haha. Oh well. Teamwork for the win on that one. 

The day was filled with more hilarious one liners. Have we been together too long? It is possible, but you have to love it! 

I am hopeful for next week to be normal, but you just never know! 

I hope you have an abnormally funny day! 

I will remember you all when my diving dreams come true, 

Sara 

Some Back in Bolivia Thoughts

Well friends I made it back safe and sound to La Paz. It was a miraculous journey that had no flaws. Crazy. I still can't believe it. I was blessed.

My break was full of rest, fun memories with people I love and one last time packing for a 6 month journey( Needless to say I will not be sad about saying goodbye to planning holiday crafts and American snacks 5 months in advance). But after a few rough days of transition I am happy to be back at "home".

Home is a strange word. I have especially realized that living overseas. The last time I lived in a place without "vacationing" back home was about 5 years ago. So strange. My boring dream now is to live in a place that is my own. To have dishes that are not my roommates or left by someone else. TO be able to hang things on the wall without thinking I will have to take those down soon enough. To have a closet I can fill up and not have to worry about packing it all up in 6 months. A place where I can leave when I want, but still have the option of staying and being perfectly content. I think I am turing into a boring grownup, but I am okay with that :).

As I turn into a boring grownup I have been realizing a few things. I have been reading a book that talks about the masks we wear as women. The mask of being strong, or perfect. Responsible and having it all together all the time. Let me tell you, I think those suckers are being ripped right off. I am angry but glad all at once. However, the most interesting thing I have read so far (only half way through) is how we so often identify ourselves with the "bad" Bible characters. In the story of Mary and Martha we so often link ourselves with Martha, who is not really bad, she just tries to love people and Jesus in her way. Jesus didn't condemn her like it is so often perceived but he just told her to calm the heck down and rest.I think we all need that. I'v seen a lot of people crash and burn, myself included, because we try so hard to please everyone and be the best. We plan for what our own lives should look like and then it gets thrown in the teacup ride. Life is funny like that, so unexpected and yet always better in the long run.

The other character she talked about what the prodigal son. Not really the son, but the brother who is so pissed because his brother gets all the attention. As the oldest, I get it. Watching other people get the attention you want or feel as if you deserve. Not only does this happen within families, it happens at work, friends, you name a group of people it is probably happening there too. But I think my favorite part of her interpretation is when she says we don't have to be either. We can identify with the father. The one who has unconditional love, the one who doesn't care about the mess of the situation. He gives everything to both sons, just in different ways. We have everything we need and we can either be cranky about it or we can recklessly spend it until we come back broken. It's not easy and I am sure in about 10 minutes I will be frustrated someone else got something I wanted or something I think I deserve. It's just reassuring knowing that's not how it has to be. I don't have to be the "bad" character or really any character at all. I can be me, hot mess Sara, and be reassured that I have everything I need and now I can try to rest and celebrate in it.

I hope you are able to rest and celebrate as well!